


In Sickness or in Health

by happyevraftr



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Canon Era, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Plague, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-29 03:35:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/315373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happyevraftr/pseuds/happyevraftr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When The Plague threatens to spread to Camelot Arthur must make tough decisions to protect his kingdom and Merlin must race to save his village no matter the cost. The two of them work together to protect Camelot and the future of Albion, all while trying to understand the love they carry for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Sickness or in Health

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Venivincere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venivincere/gifts).



> This was done for my dear friend veni for merlin_holidays over on LJ. A huge thank you to my betas wolfangeldeath and lippykid. Never could have finished this without them!

Winter was quickly approaching Camelot, leaving all the servants to hustle and bustle about making the appropriate preparations. Summer was hot but tolerable; winters, however, were always harsh. Hard stone walls kept the citizens safe and Camelot fortified, but the castle would become cold and damp, winds whipping through all the cracks and crevices to leak into the rooms.

Merlin gripped his corner of the sheet and helped Katherine, a short, stocky maid, pull it tightly over the bed. All of the light summer linens had to be replaced with heavier quilts to try and keep the night’s chill out of nobles’ bones. Small stockpiles of wood were added to each room to ensure the fire in the hearth never went out.

“I hate winters, don’t you?” Merlin asked, but Katherine ignored his attempt to make small talk and continued to fluff the pillows and smooth out the bed linens. “It’s always so cold and wet. I feel like I can’t get warm no matter how many layers I wear. Isn’t it awful?” She paused in her duties just long enough to fix him with a disapproving glare.

“These candles are getting low, and there’s no reserves either. Go get me three or four.” She motioned towards the door in an obvious dismissal, turning her back on him and going over to dust out the heavy curtains.

“Well, I’d be happy to help you, Kathy, since you asked so nicely,” he replied cheekily, running out of the room and hopping down the stairs to the lower rooms. Working with Katherine was always his least favorite activity. Most of the other servants didn’t speak to him, since he didn’t act like the typical servant and he was technically in a position of power over them, being the prince’s manservant. It also probably didn’t help that most of the younger squires envied him his position and weren’t very discreet about it. Usually though when he helped with big castle preparations, everyone treated him well and they carried on and had a good time. Not Katherine; she was hard work personified, and ran the roost in spite of not being the head-servant. She was a brutal and demanding woman to work with.

Deciding the candles could wait until later- he honestly didn’t want to spend one more minute with Katherine- Merlin picked up Arthur’s lunch a little early and leisurely strolled towards his chambers. The castle staff were making preparations for winter, but right now it was still autumn and Merlin was soaking up every minute of it. The sun on his skin no longer felt stifling and overwhelmingly hot; instead it was like a sweet warm kiss that made his skin shine just a bit brighter. Not only that, but the breeze had lost all of its sticky humidity and was light and crisp dancing over him.

The last few months had been difficult. Freya dying, finding his father only to lose him, letting the dragon loose; it was a lot to deal with. Merlin felt things changing along with the seasons, and the opportunity to begin again. All the damage from Kilgharrah had been repaired and people were beginning to move on. Perhaps everything wouldn’t be so difficult in the coming months; he held onto the hope that Winter’s bite was the only thing he would need to worry about for a while.

Finally reaching Arthur’s chambers, having taken more than ten extra minutes to get there, Merlin opened the door and smiled as he saw Arthur sitting at his desk, poring over documents.

“How was the council meeting this morning?” he asked as he set the tray down on the table. He nicked a piece of cheese before slumping down in one of the chairs and turning to face Arthur.

“There’s rumor of a near incurable disease making its way to our lands. Other than that it was the same as always.” Sometime in the past few months, this easy sort of friendship had become second nature to them. Arthur never said anything about Merlin snagging some of his food or sitting down on the job anymore. It was nice, knowing Arthur recognized him as a true friend. Merlin thought it might have been because of Morgana going missing; he could often see the loneliness her absence caused swimming in his eyes.

“And how many times did Lord Aelfric try to sneak and pick his nose?” Arthur glanced up from his papers and attempted to frown disapprovingly at Merlin, but he couldn’t quite hide the small, upwards curve at the corner of his lips.

“Any news of Morgana?” Merlin asked. He always asked. Regardless of their entwined destinies, he was hopeful she wouldn’t come back into their lives. While it pained him to think of losing such a dear friend, it would have been better for them all if Morgause hadn’t been able to save her.

Arthur gave him the same response he gave every day: a short hard shake of the head and a softly spoken “No.”

Popping another piece of cheese into his mouth, Merlin stood up and began to tidy the chambers. He picked up a pair of Arthur’s boots that had been haphazardly thrown onto the floor and cringed at all the mud caked on them. That was one of the annoying things about autumn; all the mud and leaves made keeping things clean so much more difficult.

“Did you go stomping around in puddles this morning just to make things harder on me?” he asked, waving the boots around in Arthur’s face.

“Why, of course I did! Those need to be polished, and the stables will need a good mucking out too. You should really stop being so worthless and get to it, Merlin.” Arthur’s voice was steady and his eyes trained on his work, but Merlin knew he was teasing. Well, sort of. He never really meant the ‘worthless’ parts anymore, but he did want the chores done and it was still the end of the world if Merlin was ever complacent in completing them. Prat.

Merlin rolled his eyes and gave an exaggerated bow. “Yes, sire.” This time when Arthur looked up his displeasure was sincere; he didn’t like to be bothered when he was concentrated on his princely duties. Merlin gave an impish grin and left before anything could be thrown at his head. Not that anything ever hit him- Arthur had the best aim out of all the knights, but for some reason the boots, plates, goblets, bottles or eating utensils never actually touched him.

Hoping to get out of any more preparations for winter, Merlin made his way back to Gaius’ chambers to see if he needed help with anything. Just after the noon meal was usually when any deliveries were made, and that job fell to Merlin more often than not. Not that he really minded; it was easier for his young legs to run up and down the stairs than Gaius’, so deliveries were the one job he didn’t complain about or try to get out of.

Just as he was rounding the corner to his hallway, he saw Katherine walking in his direction. As soon as she spotted him, her eyes narrowed and zeroed in on him. With long, purposeful strides that made her serving gowns swish, she stalked towards him. Merlin gulped and promptly stepped into an alcove. With every clack of her heel meeting the stone floor, Merlin’s heart beat wilder and wilder. Facing Katherine’s rage was the last thing he wanted to do. In a moment of panic, he whispered a spell under his breath.

“Blæcern cumin.”

Unfortunately, his wording of the spell had not just two or three candles falling into his hands, but a pile of candles now sitting with him in the alcove. Merlin’s eyes went wide as he realized his mistake, but Katherine was too close to correct it. Grabbing a couple of the candles, he jumped out into the hallway just as she reached him, and did his best to angle his body to keep her from seeing his spell gone awry.

“I asked you to restock the candles over an hour ago. What have you been doing?” Her stare was glacial, and scary enough Merlin felt like he would confess to anything no matter his guilt or innocence.

“The prince needed something, but I have them now and I’m on my way! I’ll just be off then!” Merlin raised his hands and waved the candles to show the proof. He tried to sidestep her, but she blocked his way.

“What were you doing in the alcove?” she asked, voice full of suspicion.

“Oh, just checking for cobwebs!” Merlin responded, with a huge grin that said he was absolutely lying. “Spiders this time of year, trying to find a warm spot and all. Wretched things.”

“Spiders?” Her eyebrow hitched up a fraction, indicating her disbelief.

“Oh yes, big hairy spiders!” He stepped around her quickly and rushed down the hall. After he rounded the next corner, he stopped and took a deep breath.

“Edhwierft.”

With any luck his magic had managed to send the remaining candles back where they’d come from. Down in the storage rooms, a young squire rubbed his eyes and blinked several times; he could have sworn there were fewer candles only a moment before.

After delivering the candles to the spare bedroom, mainly so Katherine wouldn’t have any excuse to hunt him down, Merlin finally made it back to Gaius’ chambers. He shut the door behind him with a loud bang, making Gaius jump and drop the book he’d been holding. The physician turned slowly in his chair, the creaking of his old bones almost audible.

“Must you always make so much noise?” he asked, irritated. Merlin ignored him, picking the book up off the floor and setting it in front of Gaius.

“Rare Diseases,” he read aloud, taking note of the title. “Does that have anything to do with what they were talking about in the council meeting this morning?” He sat down across from his mentor, feeling more relaxed in his own space.

“Yes it does. From the stories we’ve heard, this disease spreads quickly and the symptoms are gruesome. It causes horrible boils, fever and vomiting blood. Some have tried lancing the boils or…” Merlin’s face screwed up in disgust and put a hand up to interrupt him.

“Unless you want to see what I had for lunch, you should probably stop talking.” Gaius rolled his eyes and opened his book to the page he had been reading.

“Some physician’s assistant you are,” he replied in a slightly amused, yet reprimanding voice.

“Arthur didn’t seem to be concerned about this,” Merlin said, going back to the earlier topic. “Do you think it will spread to Camelot?”

“I’m not sure. Let’s hope for all our sake’s that it doesn’t; many lives would be lost.”

Merlin nodded solemnly as he gathered the vials of medicines for delivery. His mind was lost to his thoughts as he headed back out into the castle.

His first stop was to give Sir Owain his daily tonic, and as per usual he didn’t listen to instructions and gulped the entire bottle down. This was common since Merlin had started bringing the medicine, so he figured if it hadn’t killed him yet it couldn’t be too bad.

His next stop was a sleeping tonic for the Lady Edith. She supposedly suffered from horrific nightmares much like the Lady Morgana used to. It was a horribly kept secret that she only used that as an excuse for the screams that could be heard coming from her chambers while her husband, one of Uther’s knights, was gone on patrol or other extended travels. Lady Edith was not a virtuous woman in that right, but she was always full of town gossip, which made her one of Merlin’s favorite patients.

“Young Sinnie’s father caught her and Timothy snogging in between some houses in the lower town and he threatened to come after him with a pitchfork!” Lady Edith wasted no time in telling him as soon as she opened the door. Merlin laughed and set the vial of sleeping potion down on her nightstand.

“What happened?” he asked with a genuine smile.

She motioned for him to sit at her small table and offered him a drink. Sitting at any noble’s table besides Arthur’s wasn’t something Merlin ever imagined he’d be doing, but Lady Edith didn’t really count. She was as proper as Merlin when it came to social etiquette; the only reason it was tolerated was because she was the daughter of one of Uther’s old friends and was married to one of the King’s knights. It also didn’t hurt if she was rather beautiful to look at with long curly golden hair, plush red lips, sparkling blue eyes and a bountiful bosom. Her hips had become a little rounder with age, but she was still a very attractive woman.

“Well, apparently they’re now engaged to be married. I can’t imagine why,” Edith said as she waved her hands around frantically. “They were talking next spring, but I personally think they should have a fall wedding; little Sinnie would look just beautiful with all the orange and yellows with her dark complexion and hair, don’t you think?”

“Yes, of course.” Merlin nodded dutifully and took another sip of the honeyed mead she always provided. He had to make sure he took it slow or he really would be useless for the rest of the day.

“I’ve also news of a nasty sickness making its way to Camelot.”

Merlin perked up and leaned forward a bit in his seat. “What have you heard of it?”

“Well, it isn’t very proper to speak of, but it causes boils in your nether regions and a horrible fever. Sir Richard thinks it’s an evil curse, considering not a single soul has lived after catching it.”

“So it’s magic then?”

“Well, I wouldn’t put it past a sorcerer to do such a thing. Magic is such a vile, evil thing. But sometimes horrible things happen without magic. I think the king forgets that sometimes.”

Merlin’s heart clenched at her words. It was always a harsh reminder how much hatred and fear for magic Uther had sown in the hearts of his people. Even if Arthur accepted him when the time finally came, how was he supposed to live if the people feared him?

“Do you think anything can be done to stop it?”

“Likely not. If it does get here, you best keep to yourself and hope you’re not one of the unfortunate.” She waved her hands around again, as if to brush off the sad topic. “Enough of that, do you have anything to share with me?”

“Nothing you wouldn’t already know, I’m afraid.”

“Even the bedside manner of our prince?” she asked with a mischievous grin. Merlin promptly spewed his mead back into the glass.

“Lady Edith, I have no idea what you mean.”

“Of course you don’t.” She winked at him as his cheeks turned a dark pink.

Merlin absently wondered if everyone in the castle thought Merlin was Arthur’s bed warmer. Feeling awkward and somehow exposed, he quickly rose from his seat. “I should probably be off now. Sir Tate’s injury needs to be cleaned and rewrapped.”

“I guess that means I shouldn’t be keeping you. Do tell Gaius thank you for me. His tonics really do wonders to help keep the nightmares away most of the time.”

Lady Edith told him that every time he made a delivery and never once blushed from shame or showed any type of regret at all, so Merlin always played along and told her he was happy they could help; isn’t that what the court physician was for, after all?

“Thank you for the mead, milady,” he said in a very proper voice and gave a deep formal bow.

“Oh, out with you now!” Edith said with a laugh as she shooed him out the door and on his way to Sir Tate’s chambers.

He finished the rest of the deliveries and chores with only a few minutes to clean himself up and rush to serve Arthur at dinner. As he entered the kitchens Mary tutted at him and shoved the decanter of wine into his hands. He took the steps two at a time up to the dining hall, trying not to slosh wine out of the decanter and onto the floor or himself. With only a minute to spare, Merlin burst into the hall catching the attention of the king and prince who were already seated. He gave a sheepish smile and watched Arthur roll his eyes as he quietly moved to his position behind the prince.

Dinners used to be entertaining and informative, but with Morgana gone they were tinged with sadness. Every once in a while Arthur or Uther would glance at her empty seat and the pain and longing was evident on their faces. They never spoke of it though; conversation had strictly been limited to political matters and strategic planning. So dinners were still informative, but significantly less entertaining without Morgana challenging Uther and trying to make Arthur act in an unprincely manner. Merlin was still torn between being glad she was gone and feeling horribly guilty for not doing more to help her. He would never forget the look of betrayal on her face when he slipped her the hemlock.

When Arthur was dismissed, Merlin followed him back to his chambers. The prince had been retiring early in order to wake before dawn and lead the searches for Morgana. It had only been three months since her disappearance but Merlin could already see Arthur's exhaustion over such extensive efforts. Arthur hadn't said anything but Merlin knew they had already searched every inch of Camelot and turned up nothing. Everyone was denying the fact that by now Morgana wouldn't be found, and refused to give up hope.

As they entered the chambers Merlin noted the way Arthur's shoulders immediately drooped and his stoic mask loosened into a troubled frown. He was obviously tired. Comfortable silence stretched out between them as Merlin pulled Arthur's tunic over his head and helped him tug on his night shirt. This was Merlin's favorite time of the day. Arthur was always much less guarded when it was just the two of them in his chambers in the quiet hours of the evening. The only downside was seeing Arthur practically naked; broad shoulders and defined muscles made the stirrings of lust low in his belly impossible to ignore.

“You'll find her eventually. You'll see, everything will work out as it should,” Merlin said with much more cheer and confidence than he felt, trying to keep his fingers from lingering too long on Arthur's soft skin.

“What if we don't?” Arthur asked quietly. The heartbreak and vulnerability in his voice was gut-wrenching. This was the first time he had ever said more than one word on the subject of Morgana.

Merlin sighed and laid his hands on Arthur's shoulder, smoothing out the ruffles on his night shirt. “I'm sure that wherever she is, she's safe. She's too feisty to allow herself to be mistreated. She will find her way back to us, don't give up faith.” It was all true, he knew Morgana would turn up eventually, and while he wasn’t sure what that would mean for him, he was still hopeful for Arthur’s sake.

Arthur nodded and climbed into bed. Merlin pulled the comforter up and over him; as he turned to walk away Arthur grabbed his wrist in a firm grip. Merlin looked up and saw a rare vulnerability shining in his eyes. “Thank you.”

He didn't have to ask what for. There was something between them that was more than friendship. It didn't show very often, but they both knew it was there, something palpable, scary, and raw hanging there just waiting to be acknowledged. Merlin knew he was saying thank you for being there, thank you for being you, thank you for letting me be myself, thank you for never leaving me, thank you for loving me above all others.

Smiling in response, silently saying thank you in return, he let the tips of his fingers brush over the sensitive skin on the inside of Arthur's wrist. Arthur closed his eyes and leaned back into the bed with a small smile on his lips. Before leaving the room Merlin stoked the fire and laid out clothes for Arthur's search party the next morning.

Just over a month later, winter had finally begun and Merlin was staring out Gaius' window as the first blanket of snow covered Camelot. Along with the cold came heightened cases of sickness. With the winds that whipped through the castle pneumonia was prevalent during winter months. Extra patients meant Merlin worked more for Gaius than Arthur, and didn't see the prince nearly as much as he would have liked.

“I think we may actually have a bit of a break today, my boy,” Gaius' voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Really? No more potions to make or patients to see or herbs to grind?” Merlin asked hopefully. Gaius motioned to the several bottles of tonic they had just finished making.

“That should be enough to last us for a while. Why don't you tend to Arthur today?”

Merlin looked over at him trying to keep the hope out of his eyes and smile off his lips.

“Now why would I want to serve that insufferable prat if he thinks I'm already tied up for the day?” Gaius just stared at him until he couldn't hide a sheepish smile and let a little laugh escape.

“I'll be back after lunch to help you deliver all these,” he said motioning to the vials before standing up and bouncing down to the kitchens to pick up Arthur's lunch tray before another servant saw to it.

“Merlin! It's about time you see to your duties!” Mary swatted him on the arse as he passed by, making him squawk in surprise.

“I've been helping Gaius!” he proclaimed in defense.

“I'm sure,” she said sarcastically and tutted at him. Merlin huffed in annoyance; he had a feeling that no matter what he did, good or bad, Mary would tut at him every time he entered her kitchens. “The young prince's tray was just prepared, you can take it up to him now.”

“Thank you, Mary!” he said enthusiastically and gave her a peck on the cheek.

“Ain't no use in buttering me up,” she said with a small laugh.

“I can try!” Merlin shouted as he left the kitchens.

He walked quickly to Arthur's chambers, the chill in the air keeping him from being able to admire the way Camelot glittered with snow covering her. By the time he got there his fingers felt numb and his nose was red. He entered without knocking only to find an empty room. He was a little early, but Arthur was usually out of council meetings by now. Merlin set the tray down on the table and added some logs to the fire, trying to get some warmth back into his bones.

Just as he was about to leave and find the prince, Arthur walked into the room with handfuls of papers under his arm and a far-off look on his face. Merlin jumped up from the fire and walked over to the table.

“Council meeting ran late today, did everything go alright?”

“No, it didn't. That disease I told you about has made its way to Camelot. Escetia has already suffered hundreds of deaths. It will be in Camelot by month's end if we can't stop it,” he said as he passed Merlin and threw all of the papers on his desk. Merlin's thoughts immediately went to his mother and hoped with everything he had that the disease hadn't reached Ealdor yet. The village was close to Camelot’s borders, so it was likely she was alright.

“How am I to protect my people from something I cannot fight? I'll do anything to keep them safe, anything! But this is out of my control and I don't know what to do. I can't just stand by and watch as my people and my lands are devoured by this black plague.” He stalked to the window and stared out of it, surveying the land he wanted to protect with all his heart.

“Is sorcery involved?”

“If only it were so I could hunt down the sorcerer responsible. It's come from the far east and killed hundreds of thousands on its way here. Nothing has been able to slow or stop its spread and nothing seems to be able to cure it.”

“Would it be possible to stop all travel between Camelot and Escetia borders? Keep it from reaching us?”

Arthur looked at Merlin with surprise. “Sometimes you surprise me with your small bouts of intelligence. Yes, we have thought about quarantining Camelot, but it would mean severing all connections with Escetia and our relationship with Cenred has been fragile at best.”

“They would be weakened by the disease though, in no position to start a war.”

Arthur nodded in agreement. “Yes, you're right, which is why my father is still considering the idea. He's been trying to make a stronger alliance with Cenred for years, but I know he will decide in favor of closing our borders. The immediate need of the people will come first.”

“Then no matter what happens you will know you’ve done all you can.”

“I just hope it's enough,” he said solemnly.

Feeling Arthur's desire to be left alone, Merlin gave him a pat on the shoulder before quietly leaving the room. Magical solutions were already churning in his brain as he made his way back to his chambers. When he entered Gaius had the same 'Rare Diseases' book out on the table along with several new ones he must have borrowed from Geoffrey.

“I guess you've heard the news then.”

“Yes. I've looked through all these books at least three times and can't find anything like it. It's something new that we've never seen before.”

“And we're sure it's not sorcery?” he asked, just to make sure. Arthur wasn't always the best judge on these things.

“It appears to be a natural disease, no sorcery involved.”

“Do you think magic could cure it?”

“I thought you'd learned your lesson with Gwen's father,” Gaius replied with a scowl. Merlin returned the glare with a fierce one of his own.

“I did. But if it gets here, I can't watch hundreds of people die when I could do something about it!” He didn't mention that he also couldn't bear to see the pain and guilt something like that would put Arthur through.

“It's not a magical disease, so I don't know how much good magic would be against it, but we'll figure it out when we have to.” Dismissing the subject, Gaius went back to his research. Merlin went to his room, pulled out his magic book and started doing research of his own.

The next morning Arthur made an official declaration to the people about the disease, the symptoms, and how dangerous it was. He also proclaimed the borders shut down between Escetia and Camelot. The people were fearful, but the calm confidence Arthur exuded was enough to keep them from panicking. As soon as Arthur finished the speech, the knights rode out to guard the borders and keep anyone from passing in either direction. With the quarantine official, Merlin's heart once again went out to his mother. He hoped that she would stay safe in their little village.

His hopes were dashed two weeks later when he returned from deliveries to find an upset Gaius.

“What is it? What's wrong?” Gaius handed him a letter. The post was slow between the two nations; letters had to be thrown across in satchels to the guards and there were barely enough healthy people to make sure it was delivered at all. To Merlin’s dismay the letter was over a week old.

The Plague had reached Ealdor and most of the villagers had taken ill. Hunith was still well, but she was helping take care of the sick, so it wasn’t likely she would stay healthy for long. She had written to tell him she loved him in case it was the last chance she would have.

“I have to go,” he said resolutely.

“Of course. I wish I could come with you, my boy, but Camelot will need her physician if it spreads here.”

“I know.”

With determination, he set to packing everything he would need for the journey. If he left right away and didn’t stop, he could reach Ealdor by morning.

“Here, take this with you.” Gaius started handing several bottles full of potions and herbs.

“What is all this?” he asked, reading the label on each as he put them into his sack.

“These will help you treat anyone with the disease. Rose, lavender, sage and bay for the headaches. Wormwood, mint and balm for the sickness. Liquorice and comfrey for those with troubled breathing and vinegar for the sores. It hasn’t been keeping people alive, but it’s made their passing easier.”

“Thank you, Gaius.” He went to the shelves and added everything he would need for poultices into his pack.

“Merlin—”

“Yes, I know, I should be careful with my magic. But if it can help save my village then I’m going to use it.”

“Be careful.”

“Of course, when have I ever been careless?”

Gaius chortled and shook his head. “When have you ever not been careless?”

Merlin smiled and laid a hand on his shoulder. “I’m going to tell Arthur, and then I’ll be on my way.”

“Remember that Camelot needs you, Arthur needs you. Don’t do anything foolish.”

Merlin nodded and hastily made his way to Arthur’s chambers. He entered without knocking and found him sitting at his desk reviewing documents from the earlier council meeting.

“It’s reached Ealdor. I wanted to let you know I was leaving.”

Arthur looked up at him first confused, then sympathetic. “The borders are closed, Merlin. I’m afraid no one can leave Camelot right now. I can’t risk my people’s lives, even for your village.”

Merlin ground his teeth and tried not to lash out. “I won’t come back then.” The hurt and betrayal in Arthur’s eyes made him wish he could take the words back. He moved closer and let himself relax. “She’s my mother, Arthur. If I can do anything to help, I have to go. I promise I’ll come back after it’s all over.”

“If you come back. People who catch this don’t live, Merlin. They die horrible deaths and just because you think you’re invincible doesn’t mean you’re immune.”

“I know, but I have to try. I couldn’t forgive myself if my mother died without me there.”

Arthur rubbed his temples and let out a frustrated sigh. “I understand, Merlin, I truly do, but I still can’t allow it. The borders are closed and they’re not going to open for anyone.”

“I didn’t come here to ask your permission, Arthur, I only wanted to let you know where I was going because you’re my friend and you deserved to know. If-- if you don’t hear from me again, please know that it was an honour serving you.”

Their eyes met and so much more passed between them unspoken. ‘I’m afraid to lose you, I need you, I love you.’ Before he did anything really stupid, like kiss the crown prince of Camelot, Merlin turned on his heel and kept walking until he was out of the castle and well on his way to Ealdor.

Sneaking past the knights guarding the border was easier than it should have been. He made some bushes rustle, drawing their attention, and managed to quickly run past them. He traveled until the sun went down and long into the night, until his feet were blistered and his eyes were unwilling to stay open. Accepting defeat, he started a small fire with magic and lay next to it. He was asleep within minutes, regardless of the night chill, letting the comforting sounds of the forest lull him into a peaceful rest.

Merlin woke a few hours later to the pressure of cold steel along his throat. He was just about ready to use his magic to make the bandit rue the day he was born, but then a familiar voice was at his ear.

“You are such an idiot, your stupidity is going to get you killed one day.” Arthur removed the blade quickly before Merlin had a chance to cut himself on it.

“What are you doing here?” he hissed, turning around to face him.

Arthur looked sheepish for a second before he waved his hand towards his horse. “You left before I could tell you to take a horse. As clumsy as you are, you’ll never get there fast enough on foot.”

“I--” Merlin was grateful and happy Arthur wanted to help, but it was going to make it hard, if not impossible, to use magic. He did his best not to let any frustration show and instead gave a broad smile. “Thank you.”

“I brought a tent since I assumed you wouldn’t take one, but it’s almost dawn so just my bedroll will do for now.” He stood still, waiting for Merlin to do his bidding.

With a sigh, Merlin walked to the horse and laid everything out. “Did you come all this way just to order me about?”

“Well that is your job, isn’t it, Merlin?”

“Oh yes, it’s my job to service you in any and every which way possible.” He had meant it to come off as sarcastic and funny, but once the words left his mouth he realized just how that sounded. His cheeks filled up with a light pink flush and his eyes snapped to Arthur’s, which were comically wide.

“I mean, not everything. Obviously. Just, uh—normal manservant stuff.” Clearing his throat, he refocused his attention on making sure the bedroll was laid out smooth and there were no pebbles underneath it. When he couldn’t feign preparing the bedroll as an excuse anymore he finally stood up and made to head back to his own bedroll on the other side of the fire. What he wasn’t expecting was to come face to face with a still wide-eyed and openly staring Arthur. He quickly turned away as if he had been caught, shuffling his way to his bedroll. Merlin looked at him quizzically, but didn’t say anything. He wanted to do something to break the tension, but thought better of it. It was these moments that hurt the most, because they reminded him of what he could never have, but it was also these moments that he treasured the most. They were a reminder that, although impossible, Arthur felt the same way.

“Good night,” Arthur whispered from across the fire.

“Night Sire.” He smiled and fell asleep trying not to think of how much he wanted to show Arthur just how much he cared.

They arrived in Ealdor the next afternoon without any trouble. King Cenred’s men weren’t patrolling the borders, making their travels easy. The sight that greeted them was gruesome at best. Trenches had been dug just on the edges of the town, and were filled with ash from charred bodies and fresh corpses that had just been thrown in. The smell of burnt flesh hung heavily in the air, and Merlin covered his mouth to try not to vomit. His heart clenched painfully as he watched two men gently toss a young girl onto the pile of bodies. He thought her name was Isabella, but he couldn’t remember.

Neither man spoke as they entered the village and put the horse up in the stables. Not many people were outside and those that were looked like they had been through hell and back. They quickly made their way to Hunith’s hut, anxious to get away from the feeling of death. Merlin paused for just a moment outside the door, worried at what he’d find. Arthur placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “It will be better to know one way or the other.”

Merlin nodded and finally pushed the door open. When his eyes landed on his mother busy mixing something at the hearth, he cried in relief. She looked up over her shoulder and her face lit up in joy.

“Merlin!” She dropped the spoon she was holding and rushed over to gather him in her arms. Only a mother’s hug was always so warm and comforting- like coming home. She pushed him back to arms length and brushed his hair off his forehead. “I’m happy to see you, but you shouldn’t have come. I’ll never forgive myself if you catch your death.”

“And I never would have forgiven myself if something happened to you.” He placed a kiss on her cheek and gave her another hug.

“He was rather insistent,” Arthur piped up.

“Prince Arthur! You shouldn’t be here either, your father would have my head!”

Arthur shrugged and looked at Merlin. “I didn’t trust him to get here alone, someone has to watch out for him.”

She smiled and patted his cheek tenderly. “Thank you for watching over my boy.”

“Oi! I’m not a child, you know!” They both smirked at him, making him feel like this was quickly going to turn into two against one; with him being the one.

“No matter, you boys put your things away and then warm yourselves by the fire while I make you something to eat.”

“Thank you,” Arthur said with a smile, no hint of the displeasure he had expressed on his last visit to Ealdor. Once their belongings were settled, they gathered around the kitchen counter, Hunith dishing porridge into bowls for everyone.

“Thanks, Mum,” Merlin said as she handed him his bowl.

Arthur cut right to the point and the reason they had come in the first place. “We saw the trenches on the way in. How is everything being dealt with and how can we help?”

“The sick are being kept in William’s old house, and any house that’s empty now. More than half the village is already gone. Once you have it you usually don’t live more than two days, four at most. We’ve tried to treat it, but none of us are physicians.” She passed Arthur his bowl and he took it gratefully. “We have to burn the bodies to try and keep it from spreading.”

“Gaius sent me with some herbs to help relieve the symptoms, but there isn’t a known cure. I’m hoping maybe I can find one though.”

Arthur scoffed and shook his head, “Renowned physicians haven’t been able to do anything, what makes you think you can?”

“You never know!” he replied enthusiastically. Catching the true meaning behind his words, Hunith gave him a worried look.

After they were finished, she turned to Arthur, “Would you mind getting me a bucket of water from the well? I was in the middle of making a lavender tonic when you boys came in.”

“Yes, of course. I’ll be right back.” Arthur headed outside after giving her a sweet smile. Merlin watched him leave, dumbfounded. He had never seen Arthur do anything without being hassled into it. The only other person he had seen Arthur respect like that was his own father. Before he could analyze it too much, Hunith interrupted his thoughts.

“You can’t risk anyone finding out about your gift.”

“I know, but if I can do anything to help then I have to. The sick will hardly notice, it’s only Arthur I’m worried about. Perhaps you can keep him distracted while I make poultices.”

She placed her hand over his on the table. “I’ll do my best. You must make sure he doesn’t find out. I won’t have you ruining your future for me.”

“He won’t find out, it will be fine.” Just then Arthur re-entered the house with a pail of water in hand, effectively ending their conversation.

“Thank you, dear.” Hunith took the water from him and added it to the pot on the hearth. She added the lavender and some of the rose, sage and bay Merlin had brought with him. Once the headache tonic was finished, she led them to the makeshift hospital.

Everything had been cleared out of the small house, making room for cots and bedrolls. Inside the house reeked of death and sicknesses, making Merlin want to cover his mouth and run away. He had to fight back tears, seeing the people he had grown up with suffering and so close to death.

Hunith gave them handfuls of remedies to administer to each of the sick. Merlin first saw old Mrs. Lockley. Her skin was pale and flaking from sickness. Dark circles were underneath her bloodshot eyes. The undersides of her arms were covered in deep, black boils that disappeared, likely continued, under her loose garments.

Merlin remembered when he and Will used to play practical jokes on Mrs. Lockley until she finally dragged them back to Hunith’s house for a scolding. It was terrible seeing her like this now.

“These tonics will help you with the headaches, Mrs. Lockley.” Gently, he helped her tilt her head up and swallow the medicine. She immediately started sputtering and coughing up blood. Merlin watched helplessly as she choked and gasped for air. His instincts cried for him to rub her back, but he knew it was probably covered in boils. Eventually she was able to swallow and lie back down.

“I know you’re probably very tired, but try to fight it ok? Sleeping isn’t good for you in this case.” She gave him a brief nod and clenched her jaw in pain.

The rest of their day was spent doing the same; trying their hardest to help people get better that truly had no hope of living. Several people died in his arms and Merlin cringed each time the men came to throw them in the trench, desperately waiting for when he would find time to make some poultices. He tried to ignore the blazing fire on the outside of town, carrying the scent of dead and burning flesh on the wind.

Merlin didn’t have a chance to talk with Arthur until they had cleaned up and were crawling into their respective beds.

“It’s terrible, isn’t it?” Merlin said in a subdued voice. He felt numb and raw from watching so many people die and being able to do nothing about it.

“I’ve never seen something so destructive and painful before,” Arthur said quietly. “I’m sorry for all your losses. You knew all of them, didn’t you?”

“Yes. Ealdor is a small village. We depend on each other for survival. Even if some people survive, I don’t know if they’ll be enough to harvest crops and make a living.”

Arthur turned onto his side and looked down at Merlin. “They are more than welcome in Camelot once this is all over.” His face drew into troubled lines. “As long as there’s still a Camelot to go back to.” Merlin reached up and put his hand on Arthur’s ankle. He meant it to be comforting, but he couldn’t ignore the tingle of desire that raced up his spine any time he touched the prince.

“Camelot will be fine, we’ll get through this.” They smiled wearily at each other before Arthur rolled onto his back to sleep. Merlin forced himself to stay awake until he heard Arthur’s breathing even out and his body finally stilled in sleep.

Happy to finally have a moment alone, Merlin quietly took his bag into the kitchen and pulled out everything he needed to make the poultices. With tender care he cut one of his own tunics into scraps and lined them out along the table. After placing all the required ingredients on each small piece of cloth, he used twine to tie them together. Unfortunately he would have to wait until after he’d placed them to enchant them, but he was counting on his mother to provide enough distraction for him to get the job done. He just hoped the magic would be enough to save Ealdor.

After putting the freshly made poultices into his bag he returned to his makeshift bed on the floor to get a couple hours of restless sleep before dawn.

Merlin couldn’t stop yawning the next morning as he rose before everyone else and prepared them all breakfast. Hunith was the first to join him, silently placing bowls out for the food Merlin had prepared.

“Did you get any sleep?” She placed a worried hand on his arm, the other reaching up to trace the side of his cheek.

“I’m OK, Mum, I promise. Just stayed up late making poultices.”

Her face clouded in concern and he knew she was about to give a ‘nobody can know about your magic’ speech. For a while he had thought it was because she was ashamed of him, but he had finally come to understand that she was deeply worried about him.

“I see a confidence in you that wasn’t there before. You’ve grown up so much since going to Camelot. I’m proud of you for coming to help us again, but don’t let him catch you. He needs you, and it’s still too dangerous for him to know.” She smiled softy and patted his cheek. “Speaking of the prince, you best be waking him.”

“I was going to let him rest; it will give me some time to spell the poultices without having to worry he’s looking over my shoulder.” He spooned porridge into a bowl and took a seat.

“Alright then. I usually relieve Elizabeth from her night shift, so I have to be going.” She wrapped her winter cloak around her slender shoulders and gathered her sack of supplies. At the door she stopped and fixed Merlin with a loving gaze.

“Be careful.”

“Of course, Mum.” He smiled reassuringly at her.

It didn’t take him long to finish eating, clean up and gather his things to head to Will’s old place. The day held more hope, knowing he was able to do more than offer minimal comfort while his friends suffered and died. First he went to Mrs. Lockely, who was on her third day of being ill and looked as if she had already passed; her skin was so translucent and her breathing labored. Swiftly taking out a poultice and placing it under her pillow, he murmured the spell he had learned over a year ago.

“Þu fornimest adl fram guman.” His magic surged forth, answering his will. The poultice shimmered for a moment then returned to normal, indicating the transfer of power. Satisfied he had done all he could, he moved on to the next several patients. By mid-morning he was feeling exhausted, but had managed to administer poultices to half of the sick.

“Some servant you are, leaving me to sleep!” Arthur’s voice made Merlin jump half an inch off his stool. He whipped around and stood up quickly, kicking his bag underneath the closest cot. Smiling, he tried to look the picture of innocence but failed miserably. One of Arthur’s eyebrows arched up in question.

“Everything OK here?”

“Just fine. I thought you could use some rest.”

“Yes, Merlin, I wanted to rest while most of the village lay dying. Idiot!” He cuffed the back of his head, but not with enough force to actually hurt.

“Well, since you’re up now, I believe my mother needed someone strong to help carry… heavy stuff. Go help her.”

Arthur lifted his eyebrow again, as if to ask if Merlin was suffering from one of his bouts of mental affliction.

“Yes, I’ll go help your mum carry— heavy stuff.” With one last questioning glance he strode off across the room to speak with Hunith. At first she looked confused, but then she caught Merlin’s pleading look over Arthur’s shoulder. He mouthed a ‘thank you’ to her as Arthur left the house on some kind of errand. With Arthur momentarily out of the way he went back to spelling poultices, albeit more discreetly.

“Mrs. Lockley has passed.” He heard young Eddie shout. Thomas and Jacob came to take the body away, Merlin watching in horror. All his efforts would be for naught if the poultices didn’t work. Of all the times for his magic to fail him, this was one he couldn’t afford. He wouldn’t believe he was helpless to stop this disease from killing his loved ones, and then wiping out Camelot. It had to stop here. Redoubling his efforts he turned around and focused on his current patient. He placed a poultice under the young girl’s pillow and forced as much of his magic into the spell as he possible could.

“Þu fornimest adl fram guman!” He whispered urgently.

“What are you doing?” Merlin started and nearly tumbled backwards. He looked over his shoulder at Arthur’s curious expression. The prince really needed to stop sneaking up on him like that.

“Well, I was just---” He tried to think of any viable excuse. “I was singing her a lullaby.”

“A lullaby? Are you a nursemaid now?”

“I was just trying to be nice,” he retorted crossly.

“Well, let’s hear these musical talents of yours then.” Arthur sat next to him and motioned for him to carry on. Merlin swallowed thickly and searched his head for any type of lullaby.

“Um—” he turned towards the little girl, who couldn’t have been more than five years old, and suddenly remembered a song his mother used to sing to him when he was young. Gently, he pulled the matted hair away from her face and began to sing quietly.

“Lullay lullow, lullay lully,  
Beway bewy, lullay lullow,  
Lullay lully,  
Baw me bairne, sleep softly now.

I saw a sweet and seemly sight,  
A blissful burd, a blossom bright,  
That morning made and mirth among.”

His voice trailed off, as he didn’t remember the rest. When he looked up at Arthur, he saw admiration and something else flicker in his eyes. He offered a bashful smile and felt his cheeks redden a little. The moment was interrupted when another patient started screaming hysterically for more blankets.

Merlin rushed to his side and tried to calm him down. “We don’t have enough blankets to go around as it is. I’m sorry.” The man, Merlin was fairly sure his name was Aetherol, writhed around and continued to yell.

“I’m so cold, please! I need more!” His teeth chattered and as Merlin lifted the blanket he realized that the entire cot was soaked in the man’s sweat. Excitedly, Merlin touched the back of his hand to Aetherol’s forehead.

“You’re fever is breaking!” The man didn’t look too excited about the news, just continued to beg for something more to cover him.

“This means you’re getting better! How long have you been sick?”

“Get me another blanket, then I’ll answer your questions!”

Merlin hopped up and grabbed one of the few blankets they still had left, covering Aethoerol and tucking it tightly into his sides. “Now tell me, when did you start feeling ill?”

It took a moment for him to find a moment of clarity, but then he answered. “The middle of the night,” he stuttered out between cold chills. Merlin let out a whoop and stood up. So his poultices did work, but they had to be administered within a certain time after becoming ill.

“Aetherol is getting better! His fever broke!” Cheers went up around the room; everyone desperate for a bout of good news. Merlin felt giddy with relief. Wasting no time, he finished distributing the rest of the poultices, starting with those he knew were more recently sick- hoping he had got to them in time. By the end of the day, many had died- but more importantly, several had started to show signs of recovery. He slept much easier that night, even if he had to stay up late again making more poultices. While he had attended to all those that had been sick, he still had no way of keeping everyone else from catching the disease.

Three more days passed of distracting Arthur and administering cures. He was able to save everyone now that he got the poultices to them almost immediately after they fell ill. The villagers were ecstatic with hope and joy, thanking whatever gods had shown mercy on them.

After two more days it seemed no one else was going to come down with the sickness. Merlin and Arthur were both tending to the recovering patients when Arthur suddenly collapsed across the room. Merlin’s entire world narrowed to the dull thud of his body hitting the floor. He ran to his side as quick as possible.

“Arthur! Arthur, are you alright?” He felt the prince’s head and was alarmed to find it scalding hot. He pulled up the prince’s shirt and was horrified to find boils in the later stage of development under his arms. What had Arthur been thinking trying to hide this from him?

“Mum, Mum!” he yelled, hoping she was nearby. She came running into the house and clutched her chest at the sight of Arthur splayed out on the floor.

“I think he’s been trying to keep it from us. These boils must be at least two days old.” Two days. He had no idea if his poultice would work after having the disease so long. What if it didn’t work? He closed his eyes tight, trying to stem of the panic. Hunith sent for Thomas to move Arthur from the ground to a cot.

“No!” Merlin yelled as Tom went to set him down. “Take him to our house, please.” Tom nodded and led them the small distance across their village to Hunith’s house. Gently, he placed him down on Merlin’s old bed and left.

“Can you make him well?” Hunith asked hopefully.

“I don’t know! Three days is too long, but I don’t know about two.” He started pacing in front of the cot, trying to release his restlessness. “What if it doesn’t work?” He stopped pacing and faced his mother, tears threatening to escape.

“Oh, my boy.” She crossed the room and took him in her arms. “Have faith in yourself.”

He pulled back and ground his teeth. “Faith isn’t enough! Arthur can’t die!” Looking from Arthur and back to his mother his decision was made. “I’m going to try and take it from him. Transfer the sickness from his body into my own.”

“No! You could die!”

“I’ll spell a poultice just before I do it.” Hunith looked at him with wild, scared eyes. He grabbed her arms and squeezed. “I’m stronger than he is, my magic will help me fight it. Everything will be fine, but I have to make sure Arthur’s OK. Alright?” She nodded, tears streaming down her face.

“Help me move him to the floor.” With more than a little trouble, they managed to move Arthur from the cot to the bedroll resting beside it. He grabbed a poultice from his bag and spelled it after placing it underneath his pillow. Hunith sat down next to him and tugged a blanket up to his chest.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Mum.” He wiped the tears from her eyes before he reached down and took Arthur’s hand in his own. It didn’t escape his notice that he was yet again putting his life on the line for the sake of Arthur. In the beginning he always thought it was the pull of destiny making him want to protect the Once and Future King of Albion. As he stared down at Arthur’s pale form, chest barely rising and falling, he knew that it had nothing to do with his destiny and everything to do with the man beside him. He would do anything for him.

He didn’t actually know any spell for what he wanted to do. His magic had always been instinctual so he closed his eyes and felt for the power, begging it to give him what he wanted. Before he knew what was happening, his mouth was moving and powerful words of the old religion came pouring out.

“Ic ábisgian þes mann ádl beinnan mín afol!”

Immediately he felt a connection open up between himself and Arthur, and his body started to absorb anything ill affecting the prince. He winced as he felt the boils rise underneath his arms; they hurt. His body increasingly weakened as color and life returned to Arthur’s. The last thing he heard before passing out was Arthur gasping and asking what had happened. He let go with a smile on his face, knowing Arthur was all right.

Time became irrelevant and he felt lost in his own body. Once in a while he would come out of the fog and hear muffled voices moving around him. He tried to fight the sleep, he knew those who fell into deep sleep didn’t survive, but the pull of exhaustion tugged at him incessantly. Just as he was about to give in, he heard a voice drifting through his thoughts.

“Don’t give up, Merlin. You’re not allowed to die on me and that’s an order.”

A few minutes later he heard the sweetest voice singing to him.

“Lullay lullow, lullay lully,  
Beway bewy, lullay lullow,  
Lullay lully,  
Baw me bairne, sleep softly now.

I saw a sweet and seemly sight,  
A blissful burd, a blossom bright,  
That morning made and mirth among.”

In his sick induced haze he thought it was his mother at first, but an irrelevant time later he realized it was Arthur. He clung to the sound of his voice and used it as his anchor to hang on to. After what seemed like an eternity, he felt his magic burst to life and course through his body. He tried to scream in agony as it burned the sickness from him, but his voice was lost. The pain didn’t recede until it had seared through every inch of his body, leaving him exhausted and weak, but healed. Knowing he was out of danger he finally succumbed to sleep.

The next time he woke he was able to find his bearings and open his eyes. His mother was on one side of him, asleep with her head resting by his shoulder. Arthur was on his other side, obviously fighting to stay awake.

“You should get some sleep, clotpole. You look awful!” Arthur’s eyes snapped open and he smiled down at him.

“Now why would I sleep? I didn’t want to miss the demise of the worst servant to ever live.” He was joking, but his eyes betrayed just how worried he had been. Without having to be asked, he got a cup of water and helped Merlin drink it.

“How are you feeling?”

Merlin took a moment to take stock of his body and realized that besides still being tired, he felt amazing. No more boils or fever. “I feel better. Just tired.”

“Go back to sleep then.”

“I plan on it. Make sure you get some rest too, sire. The world’s worst manservant won’t be dying today so there’s no reason to stay awake.” Arthur nodded and smiled at him, lying down on the cot on the floor.

In the morning, Hunith hugged him tightly and cried in relief. “I was so afraid I’d lost you,” she whispered into the crook of his neck.

“I told you I was strong,” he whispered back and she squeezed him all the more fiercely.

They stayed another day to let Merlin recuperate, but they both knew they had to be getting back to Camelot. They had been gone for just over a week and the Yule celebrations were quickly approaching.

“Are you sure you have to leave today? The villagers are going to be throwing a celebration tonight and I know they would love for you to be there.” --Mother code for ‘I really want you to stay.’-- “And you both just recovered from being so ill!”

“Mum, I promise we’re fine. And you know I would love to stay, but we’ve been gone long enough as it is. We really need to get back before the Yule preparations start or Uther will have both our heads.”

“He’s right,” Arthur said as he walked in from fetching some firewood for Hunith. Merlin still couldn’t believe how much his mother was able to get him to do, and how much he respected her. It warmed something deep inside him to see it. “Even with Gaius covering for me, I have no idea how Father hasn’t sent the army after me.”

“Oh, he just loves you. Worrying is what parents do. If you really must go then you should be off as soon as possible. It will be much safer if you make camp across the border.”

“Thank you for your hospitality, Hunith,” Arthur said sincerely.

“Of course. Thank you for coming with Merlin and seeing to his safety.”

Merlin rolled his eyes. His mother knew he was more than capable of taking care of himself and Arthur. All she was doing was inflating Arthur's ego and making himself feel like a child that needed coddling.

“A safe journey to both of you.” She gave Merlin one last hug and surprised Arthur by pulling him into a long embrace as well. He awkwardly patted her back and locked gazes with Merlin, silently begging for help.

“OK Mum, that's enough.” She released Arthur and squeezed his shoulder. They gathered the horse from the stable and prepared to leave for Camelot. When they were finally mounted and on their way, Hunith stayed outside waving until they disappeared from her sight.

They rode together for hours in companionable silence. Merlin was trying, and failing miserably, not to react to the fact he was flush with Arthur's toned back. Every movement of the horse forced their bodies to sensuously glide together; it took every ounce of Merlin's self control not to moan out load and thoroughly embarrass himself. Each minute passed excruciatingly slow, and by the time they were ready to make camp for the evening, Merlin was rock hard and extremely irritable as a result.

As soon as they were past the guards at the border, Arthur stopped the horse and Merlin jumped off and grabbed the tent. Taking his time, he took out all the materials he needed and painstakingly set about the task of setting up the troublesome thing. It didn't take long for him to become entangled in the sheets and ropes, adding to his already irksome mood.

“Are you alright?” Arthur asked, interrupting his deep concentration. He huffed and looked up at him, flailing his rope-tangled arms around.

“No, I am not alright. This tent is trying to kill me.” His lower lip stuck out in a pout. Arthur tilted his head back and genuinely laughed.

“I guess I'll just have to save you then, my fair maiden.” He huffed again, but didn't refuse Arthur's hand up or his help setting up the tent.

“We need some wood for a fire. It's freezing out here.”

“Yes, yes, I know. I'll go get some.” Merlin bounded out from the camp and started collecting any bits of dry wood he could find. It wasn't easy considering the intermittent snow falls that had started happening, but after nearly thirty minutes he finally had enough dry lumber to start a fire.

Back at the camp, Arthur was inside the tent so he dropped the wood and went to join him. His hand was on the flap when the sounds floating out from inside made him freeze and his blood boil. The telltale noise of skin slapping against skin and desperate moans filled his ears.

“Yes. Right there. Don't stop.” Another strangled moan escaped Arthur's lips and Merlin felt his cock swell and harden. He knew he wasn't meant to hear this, but his feet refused to obey him and walk away. Arthur's breathing grew labored and the slapping more insistent. A long strangled groan signaled his release.

“Merlin,” Arthur sighed quietly. At first, Merlin was terrified he had been discovered, but after a moment of frozen terror he realized it had been his name on Arthur's lips when he was coming. Goosebumps that had nothing to do with the chill of the evening rose over his entire body, and he shook with the undiluted lust that coursed through him. Arthur had just wanked thinking about him. He couldn't stop from palming himself at the revelation. There had always been something deep between them, but actually hearing Arthur vocalize his desire was something he hadn't ever expected and it nearly brought him to his knees. The other man was shuffling around inside the tent and Merlin begrudgingly realized he would be caught if he stayed where he was. As quiet as possible he made his way over to the pile of wood.

Kneeling over the wood, he took deep breaths and tried to quell the thunderstorm of want raging inside him. There was a reason they hadn't crossed that line before; Arthur was meant to be king and that came with certain responsibilities. Then there was the fact that Merlin was meant to protect that duty at all costs. However, as the years went on it became harder and harder to reconcile his love for future Albion and love for the man he had come to cherish.

“What's taking you so long to get that started?” He turned around and found Arthur standing there looking indignant. “You should hurry up so we can have dinner and get to sleep. We'll need to get an early start tomorrow.”

“Yes, Sire.” Arthur turned around and disappeared back into the tent, leaving Merlin to start the fire and finish dinner. When the stew was finally ready, he joined him inside.

“Here you go,” Merlin said as he offered Arthur his bowl. He took it gratefully and quickly polished off its contents.

“Thank you for coming with me,” Merlin said, looking over his bowl at Arthur.

“Well, someone had to keep your skinny arse safe.”

“And sing to me of course, even if it was the most off key thing I've ever heard!”

Arthur stared at him with wide eyes, obviously surprised he had remembered that. “It's not like you're any better!”

“At least I don't sound like a barmaid who's been at the mead too long!”

“Merlin, you are not allowed to talk to me like that.” The authority in his voice was betrayed by the smirk that turned up his lips.

“Sorry sire, no disrespect intended.” He chuckled and grabbed their empty bowls to clean before Arthur decided to throw something at him. When he returned, Arthur was already in his bed roll, staring up at the top of the tent.

“Do you think Camelot was able to stay safe?”

Merlin blew out the candle and crawled into his own bedroll before answering. “The quarantine should have kept it out. I doubt the guards would still have been at their post if all of Camelot was sick.”

“Let’s hope you’re right.”

They both fell asleep only to be woken in the middle of the night with harsh winds whipping the sides of the tent. From the sounds of it, a blizzard had started. The temperature had dropped significantly and Merlin couldn’t stop shivering, even under his heavy blanket.

“We need to share body heat,” Arthur said between chattering teeth.

“Absolutely not.” While in theory he would love to sleep in close quarters to Arthur, he didn’t think he would be able to manage it after the day he had. Resisting temptation after the horse ride and his accidental voyeurism had been hard enough.

“Don’t be such a girl. I’d rather not lose my fingers and toes to frostbite if it’s all the same to you.”

He didn’t want to lose any appendages either, but he was not going to share a bedroll with Arthur.

“Merlin, get over here now. I’m cold.”

Sighing in defeat, he grudgingly moved his bedroll and winter blankets next to Arthur’s. They huddled close to each other, their sides touching and feet tangling. Merlin instantly felt warmer; whether it was from the shared body heat or his body reacting to his proximity to Arthur’s, he wasn’t sure.

Arthur reached over him, grabbed his wrist and pulled Merlin on top of him. He shivered from the warmth and body contact.

“Mm, so much better. Try to stay there, will you?”

Merlin swallowed thickly. “You do realize I'm not a human blanket, right?” His words came out more strained than he would have liked.

“Could have fooled me,” Arthur said, squirming underneath him. He sucked in a breath and tried not to nuzzle further into the crook of Arthur's neck. Against his will, his cock had hardened against Arthur's tight thigh. Dizziness threatened to overwhelm him, his senses were filled with Arthur and he couldn't escape.

“I can't do this,” he choked out, trying not to panic. It felt like his heart was about to burst from his chest.

“What are you talking about?” There was an edge to Arthur's voice that sounded daring and hopeful. The prat knew exactly what this was doing him.

Any other night he would have pushed his feelings aside, thought of Albion and the responsibility he had to her; but tonight he was tired and he had almost lost Arthur and then almost died. He'd been rejecting his own pleasure all day and now he was pressed flush with the object of his love. He was strong, but he was still only a man after all.

“I'm talking about you driving me crazy all day. How I've resisted temptation when I had to cling to you for the entire ride here. I'm talking about how I had to listen to you come with my name on your lips and do nothing about it. I'm talking about how I love you and can't do a damn thing about it for reasons you're very familiar with. So don't you dare mock me for finding it hard to share a bedroll with you now, Arthur Pendragon.” He let out a huff of breath after he finished his rant. The entire situation wasn't really Arthur's fault, but it had felt amazing to get that off his chest.

Arthur suddenly flipped them over, pinning Merlin underneath his body. He wantonly ground his crotch down into Merlin's, making him throw back his head and moan. Each delicious slide of Arthur's hips made him feel wild and frenzied. When Arthur's lips started kissing his neck, he was sure he had been granted his deepest fantasy.

“There are so many---” another kiss on his neck and a nibble to the bottom of his jaw, making him shiver “--reasons--” Arthur's tongue licked along the shell of his ear “--we shouldn't--” his hands ran over the smooth skin on Merlin's sides “--be doing this.”

Arthur leaned down and nipped at Merlin's lips before finally, finally, covering his lips with his own. Merlin moaned into Arthur's mouth, unable and uncaring to hide his pleasure at finally getting to taste him. They moved slowly, taking their time to enjoy what they had both been denying for so long. Arthur broke the kiss and pulled back to look at him as best he could in the dim light.

“But I don't care.” He consumed his lips again, seeking entrance with his tongue; Merlin happily gave it to him. When the kiss wasn't enough, he dragged his hands down Arthur's side, ecstatic to finally be able to touch as much as he wanted. When his hands found their way under his night shirt, Arthur pulled back with a gasp.

“You're hands are still freezing!” Arthur bit out.

“Sorry!” Merlin smiled and used the space between them to pull Arthur's night shirt over his head. Reverently, he smoothed his hands over Arthur's chest. He wanted to tell him how beautiful he was, but the words got lodged in his throat and a squeak came out instead as Arthur shoved his hand into his night pants and firmly gripped him. It was perfect, except Arthur wasn't moving and it was beautiful torture feeling the pressure of his firm grip, but having no friction.

“Please,” he whimpered, bucking his hips.

Arthur snickered and licked the shell of his ear again before whispering, “So impatient. I plan on savoring every inch of you, so you better prepare yourself.”

Arthur finished undressing him and then slowly started stroking him as he peppered kisses along his jaw, down his neck and across his chest. While sucking on one nipple he brushed his thumb over the head of Merlin's cock.

“Yesss.” Merlin grabbed onto the back of Arthur's shoulders, digging the tip of his blunt fingernails into his skin. Arthur kissed his way to the other nipple and sucked it in between his teeth, nibbling on it and laving over it with his tongue. Just when Merlin thought he might come, Arthur released the pressure just enough to stem off his orgasm and kissed over the sensitive skin on his belly.

His entire body tensed when Arthur finally got down to the ‘v’ of his hips and began nipping at the sensitive skin there. Without warning, he licked from the base of his cock all the way to the top, before pulling it into his mouth and swallowing all of it. Merlin's hands flew to Arthur's hair and combed through it encouragingly.

Arthur had other plans in mind though and let his cock fall from his mouth and continued to kiss down Merlin's body, making sure not to miss the sweet spot on the back of his knees. Kissing up the other leg, he abandoned Merlin's cock altogether and started gently rolling his balls in the palm of his hand.

Merlin moaned and gripped the side of the bedroll, trying to hold off his orgasm-- he knew Arthur was nowhere near done with him. His prediction was confirmed when two strong hands separated his arse cheeks and Arthur's tongue circled the tight ring of muscles there.

“Arthur, yes!” He squirmed, trying to get more of Arthur wherever he could. His body tingled and burned like he was on fire, undiluted ecstasy shot through him as Arthur swirled his tongue around and then pushed inside him as far as he could. He thrust his tongue in several more times before moving up and sucking his balls into his mouth and humming, making Merlin cry out and writhe under him.

“I—I want you inside me.” Arthur's only reply was to hum some more and retake his cock in hand, torpidly dragging his hand up and down.

“Please,” he begged. Pride was an irrelevant thing when Arthur's mouth was full of him and his hand was trying to kill him with pure pleasure.

“So impatient,” Arthur finally said as he rolled away from him and rummaged through something. When he finally came back, it was with an oiled finger slowly pressing into him. The burn was exquisite and he sighed with the relief of it.

One finger quickly became two, and then three until he felt so full and stretched, but simultaneously that it wasn't enough.

“I'm ready. Please,” he panted, finding it hard to focus with Arthur's fingers stroking him. “Please!”

Arthur crawled back up his body, forcing Merlin's legs to bend towards his head. Carefully, he tucked the blankets around them to keep the blizzard's chill out. Merlin's arms wrapped around Arthur's neck and he kissed him passionately as Arthur slowly breached his tight hole. He hissed in pain and shut his eyes, making Arthur pause.

“Are you OK?” He brushed the hair off Merlin's forehead, worried that he'd hurt him.

After taking a second to force himself to relax, he opened his eyes and smiled up at him. “I'm OK. You can move now.” Arthur nodded and pushed forward until he was fully seated in Merlin's body. He arched off the ground and wrapped his legs around Arthur's back, pulling him in deeper.

“You feel so good,” Arthur whispered and kissed him tenderly. All Merlin could focus on was the perfect ache of mixed pain and pleasure between his legs. The ecstasy was magnified tenfold when Arthur started methodically pulling out and thrusting back in. Over and over again until all the world consisted of was Arthur moving inside him.

Arthur shifted his weight just a little, but it was enough of a change in angle to hit that perfect spot deep inside him. He cried out and reached to stroke his cock, desperately needing to come. Arthur batted his hand away and gripped him firmly instead. The combination of Arthur inside him and stroking him at the same time, made him incoherent with pleasure. His eyes rolled back in his head and he grabbed onto Arthur’s arms, trying to find something to ground himself.

“Let go,” Arthur commanded and he promptly fell apart in his arms. Streams of come coated his belly and Arthur’s hand, making a sticky mess between them. His entire body seized and then shook from the intensity of his release. Arthur wasn't far behind, unable to hold off against the spasms of Merlin's hole clenching around him. He came with a shout and collapsed on top of him.

Neither of them moved, soaking in the hazy post coital bliss. Arthur was the first to break the silence.

“I love you too.”

Merlin closed his eyes and let the words wash over him, filling the cracked parts of his heart he hadn’t even realized were broken. Even if this was the only time they had together, it could be enough. He wrapped his arms around Arthur's back and squeezed tightly, placing a kiss to his temple. When Arthur rolled off him he felt around for a square of cloth and tenderly wiped them both clean. He fought sleep for as long as possible, not wanting to let go of the perfect moment, but eventually gave in, letting the thrum of Arthur's heart lull him to sleep.

Used to rising early, Merlin woke just before dawn. He turned over on his side and bumped into the other man. He stared at the prince's sleeping form, still in awe of what had happened between them last night. They really should let it be the one and only time, but Merlin knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that that was how it was supposed to be between them.

Dressing quickly, Merlin poked his head outside to find the storm had stopped, but the ground was covered in several inches of snow. Wrapping Arthur's heavy cloak around his shoulders he braved the cold and restarted the fire, making some porridge for breakfast. Arthur was beginning to wake up just as he reentered the tent with food.

“Good morning, Sire,” He said cheerfully.

“Morning,” Arthur said as he yawned and pulled his shirt over his head. Merlin sat down next to him and handed him his porridge. He ate it greedily, as if he was starved.

“The storm has died down, just a lot of snow on the ground now. The horse is fine. We can pack up and leave whenever you're ready.” Arthur nodded and handed his empty dish over to him. Merlin turned around to go wash it out, but Arthur stopped him with a hand on his wrist. He pulled him down and kissed him hard on the mouth. Merlin kissed him back enthusiastically, smiling brightly when they finally parted.

“What are you waiting for? Let's get back home idiot.”

“Prat!” Merlin's smile stretched even wider, feeling like it might split his face. He was glad things wouldn't be awkward between them. In fact, there was less tension than before, now that they had finally given in to their desires.

They packed up the tent and rest of camp together and set off to finish their journey back to Camelot. This time Merlin welcomed being forced close to Arthur; in fact, he wrapped his arms around his waist and held on tight the entire ride.

By mid-afternoon they were walking through Camelot's gates, guards and townsman bowing to show their respect for Arthur. They were both relieved to see everyone looking as healthy as usual. Not a moment after they dismounted Uther was at the castle steps motioning to Arthur.

“A word with you.” He quickly turned on his heel and marched back inside.

“That doesn't sound good. Glad it's you and not me!” Merlin smirked.

“I can easily have you put in the stocks if you'd like to continue insulting your prince.”

“You'd like that, wouldn't you?” Merlin's cheeks turned pink, but he didn't look away from Arthur's intense gaze.

“Maybe I would!” He quirked an eyebrow and then turned to follow after his father.

Once he made sure the horse was tended to, he bounded up the stairs to find Gaius. Bursting into the chambers felt like coming home. He had missed Gaius' messy workspace and spending late nights chatting with his mentor over castle life and Arthur. Gaius jumped up from his chair and gave Merlin a short hug.

“I was beginning to worry you'd gotten yourselves killed!”

After calming him down, Merlin told Gaius all about the village, poultices, and having to save Arthur's life-- he got an earful about that one. He did, however, leave out the part about him and Arthur finally having sex. Regardless of whether Gaius would be supportive or not, there were just some things he didn't need to know.

“So the disease didn't ever come to Camelot, I'm assuming?”

Gaius shook his head. “Thankfully no. Keeping people from crossing the borders seems to have helped. Ealdor is one of the closest outlying villages, so you curing the people there may have helped stop the spread as well. Sadly it hasn't stopped it completely. Other nations are reporting thousands of their people dead.”

Merlin bowed his head in sadness. “I wish there was more I could do to help.”

“You've already done more than anyone else was able, and you helped keep Arthur and Camelot safe. That's something to be proud of.”

Merlin smiled and nodded in agreement. He was thankful Arthur and Camelot were safe; they were his whole heart now.

He didn't get to spend much time with Arthur in the following weeks. They both had large amounts of work to catch up on and preparations for the approaching Yule festivities. They still managed stolen kisses in the morning and nights, and during meals when Merlin was required to serve him, but nothing more. Merlin craved his touch, but was honestly so busy he didn’t have much time to think about it.

Finally, the day of the last Yule celebration arrived. Merlin tended to the feast with the rest of the servants, doing his best to keep Mary happy and to stay out of Katherine's way. Late in the night, things were beginning to wind down and Merlin was nearly giddy with relief for the end; he felt exhausted from the long twelve days of running around.

Arthur summoned him to the table. “Yes Sire, how can I serve you?” He said it with as much seduction as he was able. It had become a little game of theirs to turn anything they could into an innuendo.

“I'm ready to retire for the evening. Have a tray of desserts and a flask of wine brought to my chambers.”

Merlin hesitated for a moment, confused. “Alright. I'll have it ready for you as quick as possible.”

Arthur nodded and continued. “You will wait for me to return before retiring for the evening.” The glint in Arthur's eye told him all he needed to know. With renewed purpose he left the banquet hall and found Mary in the kitchens. She was sitting on a bench in the corner of a kitchen, fanning herself.

“What do you want, boy?”

“Prince Arthur wanted some desserts and a flask of wine,” he said sheepishly, afraid to rile her.

“I'm done, ya hear me. Done! Whosever grand idea it was ta have twelve straight days of feastin’ is beyond me! If the prince wants some desserts, he can darn well fix 'em himself!”

Merlin's eyes grew wide and he tiptoed around the kitchen gathering everything he needed while Mary continued her rant. Luckily he was able to slip out before her ire was directed at him.

Once in Arthur's chambers he set the desserts and wine on the table and stoked the fire. Arthur arrived a short time later, coming up behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist. He traced the curve of Merlin's neck with the tip of his nose before placing several kisses over the soft skin.

“I've missed you,” Merlin murmured.

Arthur chuckled and spun him around. “It would be kind of hard not to!” Merlin smiled and rolled his eyes before placing a sweet kiss on Arthur's lips.

“Let's sit.” Merlin motioned towards the fire as he grabbed the desserts and wine from the table. They sat next to each other, letting their arms brush together, unconsciously seeking any contact they could get.

“Did you see the way Lord Brinley was stuffing his face?” Merlin asked just as he popped an apple fritter in his mouth.

“He looked like the stuffed pig we had on the tenth day!” Arthur said as he laughed and poured them both a cup of mead.

They talked and laughed about all the things that happened since they'd been back. Everything had essentially returned to normal; the search was ongoing for Morgana and castle life was as busy as ever. It felt amazing just being with Arthur in his chambers. These nights alone together had always been Merlin's favorite part of the day. For the first time since they'd been back, he let himself relax and enjoy the fact that they had managed to survive the plague. Not only that, but he had gained Arthur as a lover, and not just a friend.

After they had taken their fill of sweets they both fell back and sprawled out on the floor, hands twining together and bodies full of warmth from the fire and mead. Merlin turned his head and looked at Arthur.

“Do you think this is going to work?”

Arthur turned and faced him, squeezing his hand. “Probably not, but I can't imagine my life without you. Even if you are the worst manservant of all time.”

“Me neither,” he answered and squeezed back. “Even if you're the most prattish prince of all time!”

They fell asleep together on the floor, wrapped up in each other's arms in front of the fire. Things wouldn't be easy for them; the plague was just one of many dangers they would have to overcome and their love could never be openly acknowledged- but no matter what their relationship status, or what dangers may come, they would face it standing together.

END


End file.
